FEAR OF THE MIND

DEATH, the word which brings fear in the mind of the individuals.
my mind.. it's aching,.. it's the pain, i can't describe it.. it's paining like hell.
this confusion, i dunno Wat to do..I've been screaming for help in my mind, but to no vein.
wat shall i do, the moment is so that i can no longer differentiate reality with
dream. everything seems so real. i no longer know weather I'm in a dream or is it the
real thing.. but whatever it is it can no longer go on.. what if i die in the dream and
it turns out to be real world,wat will happen to me.. I'm going crazy...Make it all go
away pls,pls,pls...

I no longer wanna live in this wicked world,everything seems like a episode of a serial.
one day it'll all go on fine. the next day I'll making it a hell to live for myself..
why can't i do the right thing even if i know it's the right thing.. i know it's
wrong and it's gonna put all my friends and myself in trouble but i just force myself
to do it.I'm a sicko, am i not...

one thing tats make me feel the guilt is the feel of hurting others. one morning on the
walk i accidentally stepped on a snail. that's the worst feeling i ever had in myself, it
felt like some one was forcing me to feel bad for myself, as i kept convincing to myself
it's just a snail,it's just an accident.some part of me just keep forcing me to feel
guilty like I've killed a person, the fear of the guilt,and the anxiety of the fear of
being guilt. the thought of it itself brought shivers in my body. in the cold 6a.m in
the morning, i was sweating, my heart was pounding. and i kept saying to myself it's
just an accident,it's just a snail...


I always thought the state of mind could be controlled if we truly try our best. when
i saw the mini blog of a girl suffering frm illustration, the reply i gave was to try to
control it.i never taught it would be that trouble,until it happened to me.and now
I've no one to say this to...